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BEING GOTHIC




IN THE BEGINNING.....


Gothic, many people ask me what is Gothic. Well the answer I give now is: it depends on where you live and how old you are. You see society today has totally warped the image of Gothic. It's not their fault really, they're just imitating each other. In a way it's our fault, us older Goths that is, because we don't care enough about them to explain that they're doing it wrong. Now I'm probably going to get a lot flack for that statement but when all I meet anymore are these lame little baby Goths. (I call them that because 95% of them Can't shave yet!!!)I have to say something. One of the biggest things that bother me about Baby Gothers is the spikes and studs and purple dye oh my! Being a Goth isnít about looking as individual(or freaked out to put it nicely) as you can. I know a large part of the reason these kids are doing it is to get attention. I mean look at society today, parents don't pay attention to their kids anymore. And most kids have single parents who don't have time to pay attention to their kids. But dressing up like the tin man on crack isnít the answer. The only thing that is still going strong in the new generation of Goths is that even they still wear all black. But I don't think they wear it for the same reason. I still wear all black and I still have to explain why to most people. I used to tell people that I wore all black because it was a reflection of my soul. At the time I thought it was. In some religions black is the color for revenge. Thatís what I tell people now. I think that the kids today wear it because we did. The all black is a reflection of the part of your soul that is still filled with sorrow over everything that's wrong with the world and with us. The things that we have no control over. You see traditionally being a Goth has a lot to do with looking around the world and seeing a place you really don't like. Theres this great big emptiness where your soul is supposed to be. And for some of us we lived that way for years. But it does get better and kinda go away. Some day youíll have a job, and a life, and kids. Do you want your kids to be Goths? Do you want your kids looking like you. OF COURSE YOU DO!! YOUR YOUNG. But as you get older that will change.I donít want my kids to have anything in common with my childhood. I say that for one reason, if my kids are that upset and unhappy with the world then Iím not doing my job. Life's a bitch, wear a helmet. I mean there's soo much wrong and so little we can do about it. I think that kids today and maybe for longer than I realize grow up and are disappointed with the world. We are tired of being let down by everyone and everything. Whenever we try to change things either no one listens to us or they are so jaded they just don't care anymore. So we become Goths. But not everyone is doing it for the right reasons. The term Goth is used so loosely today it could describe anyone whoever experienced teen angst. What would be classified as punk rockers in the 80's consider themselves Goths now. And they werenít born until like early middle 80's so they don't know the difference. I mean Goths used to all be anti-social now they have Gothic night clubs. What it all boils down to is this if your going to be a Goth do it because you find out you were born that way. I was in a store the other day and saw a book called the Gothic Handbook or something lame like that. I looked through it ands came to this. I didnít see one traditional Goth in there. This scares me; are there really that few of us left? I don't think that's what it Is.I think that because there are so many genres fitting into Gothic now that they just seriously outnumber us. I mean these people in this book were scary. They looked more like people who got run over by a Mack truck.(Or fell face first into a tackle box) My generation did piercing but only to a certain degree. But I think since we did do piercing to a certain degree, they have to take it to the next level. If they don't then they risk imitating the others and being a copycat. Some people become Goths because they meet Goths and like what they see. It's sleek, some are sexy, and you scare most of society. Cool bonus right?. Wrong. Someday your going to have to grow up and get a real job; and do you think anyone will hire you dressed like that? (Or with a steel stud in you nose) So what happens when you have to change and can't dress like a Goth anymore. At that point without the dress a lot of them will forget. I guess what it all boils down to is this; being a Goth is almost like having a sixth sense. Either that or just more awareness, because what turned me was the knowing and feeling everything that was not right with the world. It brought about a certain sadness. To me and many people that is what being Gothic is all about. The sadness that's always there that and you can't do anything about it. Goth is about having a good heart in a bad world. A world where everything seems so trivial.


POETRY



As I grew up I noticed that a lot of people wrote poetry during their teens so here is some of the stuff I've written. Some people say that these arenít poems, but I say if anything similar to these things has happened to you; you'll think with that place you keep your secrets hidden and they'll be poetry.

I'm at war with myself and the casualty is sanity.

The day I was born my soul was taken, replaced by emptiness, and later filled with pain.

One way to recognize insanity is when you can just sit back and revel in the madness.

I don't know if I'm afraid to die, or afraid I won't really live.

I've hidden who I really am for so long, if the time comes will I be able to find myself or have I disappeared into the void of my Soul?

Electric Death

I met life and he told me I wasnít ready, so I changed. In doing so I forgot who I was and don't know who I've become.

There's a place just beyond despair, a place most people will never go, a place you'll never come back from.

We walk a path of shadow and light, it stretches across a chasm on one side despair and on the other death, a hooded figure looms towards me threatening to throw me over is it the Reaper? Or is it me; in this endless game of smoke and mirrors.

True warriors and heroes are not necessarily those of the battlefield. For someone who has been hurt it is much harder to go on to love again.

Almost every person has strength, not physical but mental. For some it is innate and for others it is learned; whichever one it is it makes no difference for the limits of both will be tested in life.

Well that's enough of that depressing stuff; here's a little for the romantic in all of you.


What is a kiss?

What is a kiss? I mean what do they represent? To most of the world it's a show of affection. But to kiss your lips of honey and vinegar is to give you all that I am. In every kiss there lay all my emotion, hate, anger, fear, confusion, depression, and love, ohhh the love. Something that leaves the smell of your perfume in every breath I draw. That thing that makes reality to fade and allows me to revel in the image of your beautiful face burned into my mind for all eternity. To give hope to those who forgot how is your gift to me. When the day comes that I can no longer revel in your kiss I will surely die. All that I am is for you, without you to guide me to the light I fear I shall stray into the dark. There in the dark I shall wait, and in a secret place I shall hope for the day I can again kiss your lips and show you what a kiss is to me.

Not unlike a guardian angel I sit and watch you while you sleep. Protecting your body and chasing away bad dreams. So the nights I watch you; you shall sleep a better night and face the day with a little more strength.

As the phoenix rises from the ashes, so do I.I rise from the ashes of a love that could not be, I rise from the ashes of a life that could not be. I rise.. my colors brighter, my wings stronger, but my soul darker. Yet still I rise.

UPDATE!!

One night not too long ago I was sitting with a friend of mine and we were discussing my page here and I realized any idiot with a computer can point out all the problems;it takes a man(or Woman) to try to fix them. So I am off on a personal mission to try to help little Goths become big Goths. If anybody has any problems they are willing to talk about or need to talk about the best I can do is e-mail or a phone call but I'll help anyone I can. You'd be surprised what I can handle, I've been through alot just like everyone. So personal topics are also welcome. Storm

UPDATED!! 4-21-00

This Poem comes to me from a girl named Nicole; and she cals it foolish clown.
Pure of heart, pure of soul,
Immaculate fluid inside a soiled glass bowl,
Lidded with fear...
Oh God! Don't let me drown
in the gaudy tears of a too foolish clown!
Cry me a tear, a tear of bright red,
Let it drip down your skin,
let it roll of your chin,
never touching your lips,
the birthplace of sin...
Sell me a heart, velvety red...
Rub it raw with your touch,
and fill it with dread.
Inscribe it with your love, and insight, and rules...
Blind me and make me dumb with your soft cutting tools!
Caress me, calm me, cut me down!
Paint my face and make me your clown!
Laugh at me! Destroy me! I am your clown!!!!!

Well that's it for this page if you have any question's, comments, or you want to submit your poetry, feel free to send them to me.

STORM


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